Below is a short discussion inspired the episode "More Myself" from Unlocking Us with Brené Brown.
We often live our life according to society's expectations. We try to project acceptable personas and hide our flaws. When we do this, we become alienated from our true selves. We must find a balance between adjusting to society and living life in our terms. Otherwise, we will struggle to find fulfillment even when we reach success.
In this episode of Unlocking Us, Brené Brown and singer-songwriter Alicia Keys talk about emotional armors and breaking free from them.
How can we break free? Through self-ownership, self-confidence, and self-care.
- Self-confidence. Whenever we assert what we want and what we don’t want, we remind ourselves that our opinions and our well-being are as important as others’.
- Self-ownership. Our flaws are part of us the same way our strengths are. When we take ownership of our imperfections, we can comfortably show our true selves to the people around us.
- Self-care. We can prevent exhaustion when we take needed breaks. When we learn how to pause, breathe, and relax, we can remain emotionally stable. We then build self-confidence, knowing we can depend on ourselves emotionally.
We can free ourselves from our armor by accepting our flaws and limitations. We can also prioritize our well-being. When we practice this consistently, we build up our confidence and sense of self. Eventually, we can comfortably live life in our terms regardless of what others say.
the distilld lessons
Here are the distilld lessons inspired by the “More Myself” episode of the Unlocking Us with Brené Brown podcast.
Icon Alicia Keys details her hero’s journey in her book, More Myself. She shows us how to deal with our emotional armors and how to strike the balance between courage and vulnerability.
Look to society for lessons but look to yourself for decisions. Take charge of your own life and trust your instincts. No one knows you more than you do.
Success doesn't automatically mean self-worth. Pursue endeavors that will enrich your life but never at the expense of your core values and interests.
Self-preservation isn't selfish. You can still be a good person while looking out for yourself as long as you don't harm or diminish anyone.
The music industry prioritizes marketability over the music. It chases after catchy songs more than creativity. It often forces musicians to compromise their core beliefs about artistic expression to succeed.
Say no when you don't think something is good for you. Say no when it's not something you want for yourself.
Take the time to breathe. Life can be overwhelming. Sometimes you have to gather yourself before making decisions. Don't rush yourself unless you have to.
Embrace your vulnerability. Your weaknesses are as valid a part of who you are as your strengths. Work through them instead of ignoring them.
Break free from your emotional armor but don't discard it. A big part of life is navigating the dichotomy of strength and vulnerability. Don’t abandon one extreme to go to another.
- Prioritize your well-being. When making decisions for yourself, make sure that it is a decision made by you and not made for you.
- Say no when you mean no. It doesn’t make you less of a person to deny doing more.
- Breathe. Take the time to pause and put things in perspective.
- Be vulnerable when you have to. Your flaws are as much a part of you as your strengths are.
- Block out the noise. Never let what people say get in the way of the truth you aspire to.
For a more in depth conversation, the distilld lessons (extended) are here.