Below is a short discussion inspired by Brené Brown's Episode #1 of Unlocking Us.

New things, situations, or experiences can be exciting. But this excitement is often fleeting. When it subsides, we’re left with the challenges of adapting to the new situation, and the discomfort that comes with it.

On episode one of Unlocking Us, Brené Brown talks about how we can deal with experiences she refers to as “f***ing first times”, or FFTs for short. It’s a term that refers to the difficulties we face when we try something new, after the initial excitement subsides.

How do we deal with our FFTs?

• Name it. Naming is key to human understanding, since we’re meaning-making species. We name objects and concepts so we can quickly understand their function and purpose. When we give the difficulties of our FFTs a name, it gives us a quick structure to approach them more clearly.
• Normalize it.  What you’re going through is new, and our feelings of confusion and frustration are justified. When we accept the difficulty of the FFT as normal, we can shift our focus and energy from fighting negative emotions, to working on growth and improvement.
• Put it in perspective. All hobbies and interests we’re good at now started out as FFTs. We can have confidence in improving in a new FFT when we remind ourselves of the previous ones that went from unfamiliar to normal.  
• Ground it in reality. Our progress may slow down or even stop due to unforeseen circumstances. When we accept that some factors are beyond our control, we ease our feeling of discouragement and disappointment. This helps us be more patient with ourselves as we deal with our FFTs.

When we manage our FFTs correctly, we can make sure our first times won’t also be our last.

the distilld lessons

These are the distilld lessons from Episode #1 of Unlocking Us.

‘New’ is often exciting. But this excitement is fleeting. When it subsides, we’re left with the challenges of adapting to the new situation, and the discomfort that comes with it. According to Brené Brown, this is a f***ing first time, or FFT for short.

FFTs are naturally full of discomfort and difficulty. But there are effective ways to approach them — strategies that we can apply to work through this.

Name your FFT. When you’re having a hard time trying something out, ask yourself, “Why am I so uncomfortable doing something that isn’t necessarily stressful? Is this an FFT?” The answer is probably yes.

Naming the FFT as such leads to three steps: 1) Normalizing its difficulty; 2) Putting it in perspective; and 3) Managing expectations with how fast we can improve on it.

Normalize the FFT.  What you’re going through is new—feelings of confusion and frustration are justified. Once we do this, we can shift our focus and energy from fighting negative emotions to working on growth and improvement.

Put your FFT in perspective. When you think about it, all hobbies and interests we’re good at now started out as FFTs. If we got through the previous ones, we can do the same for what we’re currently working on.

Ground your FFT in reality. Our progress may slow down or even stop due to unforeseen circumstances. When we realize some things are beyond our control, we can pay more attention to what we can do to improve the situation.

The pandemic itself is our collective FFT. This is the first time in current day society that we’ve been hit by a pandemic of this scale. Our institutions and experts are learning about the virus as they go along.

We can get better at managing the pandemic, just like we can at any FFT. When we name it, normalize it, manage our perspective and our expectations, we can overcome this situation together.

Try new things out. Even during this global FFT. The world slowing down doesn’t mean there are no more ways for us to improve and enrich ourselves. If we can grow during this pandemic, we can be of better service to others.

Applying It

• Try out new things. A new hobby, a new book, a new health goal. Learning is a never-ending process. Invite new FFTs.
• Stick to your newfound hobbies. The first steps are the hardest ones to take. This is because it can often entail changing and discarding certain habits and lifestyles. But if we commit and invest, we can see our goals through.
• Acknowledge the difficulties you face. There will be times it feels almost impossible to tough it out. There’s nothing wrong with addressing pain or fatigue when you encounter it. It can help you see your problems from a different perspective, and help you come up with better solutions.
• Encourage someone when they try new things out. FFTs don’t need to be faced alone. We can help those around us by providing them the encouragement they need to keep going.  
• Treat the pandemic as an FFT. Because it is—this is the first time in the current day society that a pandemic of this scale has surfaced. Name it, normalize it, put it in perspective, ground it in reality, then take the steps you need to make it through this situation.

For a more in depth conversation, the distilld lessons (extended) are here.